Another Setback

Christian and I have the worst luck.  I always feel like when things can go wrong, they do.  Thanks a lot, Murphy!  Sometimes even the best-laid plans fall through.  However, what do you do when that continues to happen?  A wedding is bound to have its hiccups, but at some point, enough becomes enough.  The other problem is I feel bad complaining.  I don't want to be a debby-downer, and I generally want to talk about my wedding in the most positive light.  On the other hand, these setbacks make me sad. I realized, talking about it on my blog is the perfect way to vent, and to get your thoughts on these issues.  Some problems are okay to ignore, and others are not.  But, sometimes a girl needs some prospective from her readers. 

So, to give you the back story...

Christian proposed to me on October 22, 2010, after almost 7 years of dating.  We were in no rush, and both of us agreed that it made sense to get our lives in order before worrying about tying the knot.  We decided on a February 2012 wedding (this month!).  Then we learned that Christian's brother could not leave El Salvador, where he is serving in the Peace Corp, during February or March 2012 because of his training schedule.  We both agreed we would rather have his brother be a part of our special day than stick with our original date. 

Before we got to picking a new date, my law firm dissolved.  This was disastrous.  Christian and I had been living in DC for six months, I'd barely been working at my firm for six months, and I only had the beginning of wedding savings stashed away.  Christian and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and we were primarily planning to use my big law salary to cover all the costs.  Then there was unemployment, while at the same time trying to afford the DC cost of living.  Christian tutors part time while in grad school, but we essentially were living in this very expensive city with no incomes and lots of school loans.  We had no delusions: The wedding would have to wait.  

After finding a new job at a smaller firm (with a much smaller salary), and after 6 months of steady employment, we decided to start wedding planning again.  This was a big decision, and Christian had a lot of concerns.  But we did the math, and I figured we could make this happen if we stick with a really tight budget.  We decided to go with November 2012 and we went back to the venue we originally were thinking about working with.  

While the venue was available on ALL of our proposed dates, my Rabbi wasn't.  I wanted to get married in my synagogue, but none of the dates available worked for us or our families.  Can't a couple get a break?  We went back to the venue and explained this situation, and asked that our 2 tentative dates be held open.  "Sure, not a problem!"  I called my cantor (a leader in the Jewish community, who is also ordained clergy), and she was happy to officiate.  She no longer is with my synagogue, so that was still out, but she was available on one of the dates we wanted.  Hooray.  We made a decision on officiant and date.

I went back to our venue and told them the good news.  We proceeded with finalizing our contract and reception details, and things were great!  Until, the event coordinator at the venue called to tell me that actually, another wedding was booked that day.  It was a horrible situation.  The man, who had previously been very accommodating, became petty and defensive.  As angry as I was (I had spoken with him about our date situation so many times, and was reassured that our dates were available so many times), I knew it was a blessing in disguise.  I really didn't want to work with this man, regardless of how reasonably priced the venue was.  You get what you pay for...

So, back to square 1 (almost).  My mom and sister did a ton of venue research for us the first time around, so we still had a lot of places to go back to.  This was amazing help, especially since Christian and I are planning this wedding 1,000 miles away.  Once we realized we weren't tied to the city of my former synagogue, we went back to one of our original options that we loved but dismissed for its location.  Also, one of my best friends had her amazing wedding here!  My favorite part about the venue was the event supervisor, Holly.  She was nothing like the flaky guy from our first venue.  I called her, she remembered me (and lots of our original discussions), and she was willing to honor her previous year's quotes.  She also was extremely flexible, and I did a ton of negotiating with her.  Christian and I agreed, everything was working out for the best.  

Holly and I went back and forth a bit on contract terms, and then last Tuesday we received the final contract to sign and give our deposit.  Two days later, Holly called and left a message saying that she just took a new job with a new venue.  My heart sunk and I was totally deflated.  Our contract is due today, and I have yet to nail down the new event supervisor.  The venue is hiring a new event coordinator to replace the open slot, but I'm terrified to sign a contract without meeting this person.  Am I worrying too much?  With Holly, I knew things would run smoothly, which meant I didn't have to worry about hiring a wedding planner, or any "day-of" services.  When you are not planning on hiring other vendors (like a florist), having an awesome on-site coordinator is critical.  How can I trust that the unknown person will be half as good as Holly?  Does the value of the venue without her go down enough that I ought to reconsider my options?  At what point does being "done" with a decision outweigh potential cost-savings?  I'm seriously in a bind, and I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.  Help!!!